Tuesday January 31st 2023

 Today has been a rough day with the anxiety. This morning a read a chapter of "The Grizzly Maze" by Nick Jans. It was the chapter I was way too tired to read last night. While I was reading it there was a quote in it where he stated that this bear was not afraid of him even though he was surprisingly closer than expected, and said it looked down upon him even with his superiority status. This is not a direct quote but for some reason when Jans said "superiority" it just sent me down a negative spiral, starting with the fact that I do not look at animals like that. To me the reason the bear killed Timothy Treadwell is because of his disrespect, and other humans subjectivity not because it is a savage. Also I did not go into school because I have to take care of this ridiculous parking ticket bullshit. I swear it is one bureaucratic thing after another with this college. Last november I almost couldn't go to college this semester because they said I needed two measles vaccines which I only have one. That was all I needed when I was born, sorry!!!!! I had to take a class and sign a form exempting me and I have to do that every year. Seriously are you fucking kidding me, what the hell!!!!! Last week I got a parking ticket. I got my 175 or whatever dollar pass last September, but my first windshield cracked and that was the one with the sticker that is scanned by the patrol. I am not sure what to do but it is stressing me out also I don't want to get another ticket today. So I am just staying home and doing my writing. I am making an appointment with my professor to talk about my paper because I am not sure what else to write about. I hope everyone is doing okay, peace.

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